Wow, where do I start? No one wants to hear about the cute little things of the past, pre enlightenment I was doing the regular thing, living in Canada, being a dutiful daughter, ( trying to be a closet rebel).
Singing, attending, being a part of the institution and the culture....let me pause, it is more about the culture than anything else.
I was in the middle of all of it, living the "experience"and then at the end of the 20th century everything changed.
Sorry if I sound cryptic but when you blog publicly, you have to be a bit cryptic and vague.
I had a plan to move to England, to study opera and to start a new chapter in my life. I was ready for something new, a change, a break from my routine.
Yet it changed, the change happened when I met a person who forced me to look introspectively at my beliefs and ideals.
I didn't like it to be honest, I didn't like the feeling of questioning myself. I spent years establishing my life habit, School, Work, family, church and so on.
And then 3 coins opened my mind, the 3 coins represented everything I believe in, what I stood up for, what I promoted and what I expected everyone should also follow.
Only the change of the alignment of the coins opened my eyes, and I was confused.
This person peeked my curiosity, I started to dig deeper to find out why he believed what he believed, and why I couldn't convince him that his beliefs, his worldview were terribly wrong.
So I dug
I dug in the holes I am familiar with to prove to him that I am right and he was wrong.
Yet as I dug, I became more confused, I kept digging and I met people who confirmed what he believed.
I dug silently in the depth of the night where no one could challenge or confuse me, I took the reference book I knew and search for truth.
The day, I asked The Creator to show me truth is the day I opened my eyes. This was the beginning of the enlightenment.
July 2000 I decided to make the drastic change to leave what I knew and understood for a world of unfamiliarity.
When I took the shahadah and proclaimed the change, tears swelled up in my eyes.
The question was asked, " Why are you crying?"
My response was, " Because I know after today, my life will be a living hell."
Singing, attending, being a part of the institution and the culture....let me pause, it is more about the culture than anything else.
I was in the middle of all of it, living the "experience"and then at the end of the 20th century everything changed.
Sorry if I sound cryptic but when you blog publicly, you have to be a bit cryptic and vague.
I had a plan to move to England, to study opera and to start a new chapter in my life. I was ready for something new, a change, a break from my routine.
Yet it changed, the change happened when I met a person who forced me to look introspectively at my beliefs and ideals.
I didn't like it to be honest, I didn't like the feeling of questioning myself. I spent years establishing my life habit, School, Work, family, church and so on.
And then 3 coins opened my mind, the 3 coins represented everything I believe in, what I stood up for, what I promoted and what I expected everyone should also follow.
Only the change of the alignment of the coins opened my eyes, and I was confused.
This person peeked my curiosity, I started to dig deeper to find out why he believed what he believed, and why I couldn't convince him that his beliefs, his worldview were terribly wrong.
So I dug
I dug in the holes I am familiar with to prove to him that I am right and he was wrong.
Yet as I dug, I became more confused, I kept digging and I met people who confirmed what he believed.
I dug silently in the depth of the night where no one could challenge or confuse me, I took the reference book I knew and search for truth.
The day, I asked The Creator to show me truth is the day I opened my eyes. This was the beginning of the enlightenment.
July 2000 I decided to make the drastic change to leave what I knew and understood for a world of unfamiliarity.
When I took the shahadah and proclaimed the change, tears swelled up in my eyes.
The question was asked, " Why are you crying?"
My response was, " Because I know after today, my life will be a living hell."
