A definition of cruelty
The sound of the clock ticking in the background
The hum of the air conditioner, the whisk of the fan
Then the silence
I sat up combing through the internet, reading news stories and current events
Hoping I would see my email alert pop up on the screen
Disturbing my distraction of Google and Yahoo
I waited
Then the waiting continued
After days I casually checked again, to see if any new emails came
Some ads, a few stories, friends checking in
Then there was nothing
Again the silence
Weeks rolled forward, busy with work and life, reading, writing, talking, sleeping and unconsciously hoping but I was met with
The silence
Months came and left, I was angry, hurt and then forgot for a long time or at least I thought I did.
Still waiting but less anticipation for a break in
The silence
Over my thin skin I developed the semblance of a thick skin
That it doesn't matter
That it doesn't hurt at all
This deafening silence that you throw at me like a spear
That pierces me deep and keeps digging into my emotional flesh
I would rather your screams of hate or disdain towards me then this blatant purposeful silence
A definition of cruelty or a plan of survival is to know your enemy
To know to never give your enemy what they want or expect, give them what they deserve.
The worst form of punishment tailored made for them.
In my case, as your appointed enemy, my punishment is the silence .
What is funny in all of this, even though I know my punishment, it still hurts like the first time you did it.
SRGB aka RbG
December 7, 2013
The sound of the clock ticking in the background
The hum of the air conditioner, the whisk of the fan
Then the silence
I sat up combing through the internet, reading news stories and current events
Hoping I would see my email alert pop up on the screen
Disturbing my distraction of Google and Yahoo
I waited
Then the waiting continued
After days I casually checked again, to see if any new emails came
Some ads, a few stories, friends checking in
Then there was nothing
Again the silence
Weeks rolled forward, busy with work and life, reading, writing, talking, sleeping and unconsciously hoping but I was met with
The silence
Months came and left, I was angry, hurt and then forgot for a long time or at least I thought I did.
Still waiting but less anticipation for a break in
The silence
Over my thin skin I developed the semblance of a thick skin
That it doesn't matter
That it doesn't hurt at all
This deafening silence that you throw at me like a spear
That pierces me deep and keeps digging into my emotional flesh
I would rather your screams of hate or disdain towards me then this blatant purposeful silence
A definition of cruelty or a plan of survival is to know your enemy
To know to never give your enemy what they want or expect, give them what they deserve.
The worst form of punishment tailored made for them.
In my case, as your appointed enemy, my punishment is the silence .
What is funny in all of this, even though I know my punishment, it still hurts like the first time you did it.
SRGB aka RbG
December 7, 2013
No comments:
Post a Comment